February 2012
motoroladroid:
After 5 hours of strenuous, sweaty, labor, a woman finally gives birth. Her red, crying face smiles weakly as the doctor presents her child to her. “Congratulations, he’s a boy!” says the doctor.
The woman sits up suddenly, her soaked hair falling over her shoulders. “YOU CISSEXIST PIECE OF SHIT!” she screams at the doctor. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE’S A BOY? HOW THE HELL DO...
Those adverts that try and make you believe you've...
“Hundreds of hot babes in your area RICHMOND want to contact you!”
“Congratulations, user in RICHMOND with IP address 832.293.233.293 YOU HAVE WON”
Does anyone actually believe them?
Like anyone?
Why is it still a tactic they use?
To just generically pluck your ip address and use that to find an area roughly near you
Anonymous asked: I've wanted to have sex with you for a long time, love, your favourite meat product. xxxxxxx
So I come home intoxicated and none of you have...
Or ask me stuff
Any stuff
Whatever stuff you want
or tell me stuff
whatever whatever I do what I want
http://iamsexy.tumblr.com/ask
OK KINGSTON TIME
When I return, I shall most likely be intoxicated
Use this wisely
Ask me things
Confess your love
Make fun of me
ANYTHING
http://iamsexy.tumblr.com/ask
Anonymous asked: I think I kissed you once
Put a † in my ask, and I'll smash or pass you.
tedbundywasahusky:
!
THIS COULD BE FUN. I’m about to go out and drink so when I get home you’ll all get drunken, possibly sexy talk.
1 tag
I'm starving, might kill a child and drink their...
Any Strode's people collected their exam...
nah m8 cbb
“The Big Beat Manifesto: Big beats are the best, get high all the time.”
– Super Hans (via oldisleworth)
1 tag
Just queued up about 3 hours worth of The Cure
WHO NEEDS SLEEP
Basically, my two top choices for Uni this year...
plushturtle:
iamsexy:
I’ve been to Bristol and I liked it
I liked Reading but I only really saw the Festival site
So tell me people who exist in or around Reading or have even just been there
What’s it like?
Would I like living there?
Reading is where most polls go for finding the average, due to the painful normality of the people there.
However the people I know who go to uni there...
Basically, my two top choices for Uni this year...
I’ve been to Bristol and I liked it
I liked Reading but I only really saw the Festival site
So tell me people who exist in or around Reading or have even just been there
What’s it like?
Would I like living there?
There's a group on facebook called "there should...
plushturtle:
iamsexy:
No.
We should just get rid of pennies.
They’re so pointless.
However, my mind does consider £4.99 to be four pounds, not five.
Yeah, but if retailers really want to do that stupid “LOL PEOPLE THINK IT’S LESS MONEY” thing, they can just make everything “£X.95”
There's a group on facebook called "there should...
No.
We should just get rid of pennies.
Reading Uni emailed me today and I got excited...
Nah, just useless stuff
Thom Yorke (reading a letter from Cartman): Dear Radiohead, My name is Eric Cartman, I am a young, supple 8 year old boy from Colorado.
Cartman: Hello sir, my name is Chris Christopherson, I'm with the IRS. I'm here to collect ten dollars you owe in back taxes.
Scott Tenorman: You're not from the IRS. You glued my pubes to your face.
Cartman: Tax Evasion is a very serious offence, sir.
Kyle: Cartman you don't buy pubes you grow them yourself!
Cartman: What?!
Stan: When you get old enough you grow your own pubic hair that's attached to you, you fucking dumbass!
Cartman: Nuh uh!
Kyle: Yuh huh
Cartman: Then why would Scott Tenorman sell me his pubes for ten dollars?!
Kyle: Because retard, you're dumb enough to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes for ten dollars!
Cartman: ...You're telling me these pubes are worth nothing?
Business Secrets of the Pharaohs: there's one girl... →
kingunderthemountain:
mamaflo:
kingunderthemountain:
iamsexy:
kingunderthemountain:
kingunderthemountain:
iamsexy:
kingunderthemountain:
“Watching deathly hallows part 2 with the bro. Can’t believe there’s a single person in the world who can dislike the franchise! It’s just so fuckin epic!”
“Stilllll can’t believe they’re remaking Spiderman already! no doubt…
“Again another...
Business Secrets of the Pharaohs: there's one girl... →
kingunderthemountain:
kingunderthemountain:
iamsexy:
kingunderthemountain:
“Watching deathly hallows part 2 with the bro. Can’t believe there’s a single person in the world who can dislike the franchise! It’s just so fuckin epic!”
“Stilllll can’t believe they’re remaking Spiderman already! no doubt…
“Again another star madly insanely in love and high on drugs to the point where she...
there's one girl on my facebook who every time she...
kingunderthemountain:
iamsexy:
kingunderthemountain:
“Watching deathly hallows part 2 with the bro. Can’t believe there’s a single person in the world who can dislike the franchise! It’s just so fuckin epic!”
“Stilllll can’t believe they’re remaking Spiderman already! no doubt I’ll check it out but daham! Tobey maguire was well good! :(“
“Never even knew waterloo easttt existed until...
5 tags
mamaflo replied to your post: there’s one girl on my facebook who every time she puts up a status I feel like throttling a child because she’s an utter moron
is it Bee??
No, but yeah she should stop updating her status every 10 seconds when she’s supposed to be doing australia things
there's one girl on my facebook who every time she...
kingunderthemountain:
“Watching deathly hallows part 2 with the bro. Can’t believe there’s a single person in the world who can dislike the franchise! It’s just so fuckin epic!”
“Stilllll can’t believe they’re remaking Spiderman already! no doubt I’ll check it out but daham! Tobey maguire was well good! :(“
1 tag
heaventakethysoul replied to your post: there’s one girl on my facebook who every time she puts up a status I feel like throttling a child because she’s an utter moron
I’m gonna guess Shayla? Because the feeling is mutual.
there's one girl on my facebook who every time she...
I wish I could do nothing but watch good movies...
holy shit Mona are supporting Noel Gallagher on his US shows
WHY CAN’T I GO TO AMERICA
1 tag
1 tag
People who should have won
Nb: If no one worthy was even nominated, I will substitute them with my own choice
British Male Solo Artist Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
British Female Solo Artist The Cure
British Breakthrough Act Cradle of Filth
British Group Kasabian
British Single Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie
Mastercard British Album of the Year Velociraptor! - Kasabian
International Male Solo...
The Brit Awards panel are such moronic cunts
I’m surprised they chose Blur for outstanding contribution instead of JLS
The nominations list for single of the year...
kingunderthemountain:
iamsexy:
kingunderthemountain:
Fucking lord help us all.
Oh, and according to The Brits Bon Iver are a solo artist, as opposed to a band… Fucking hell what is this shit?
I don’t like a single song… what the fuck… usually there’s one decent song what the fuck is this I could cry
WHY MUSIC WHYYYY
Putting this up for Merlin’s benefit.
Bon Iver…
Male...
